I simply hate Good byes.......

Today was the last day of work at the site I have been at for quite a while.  

It's not good when you get up and you feel like this guy because your job has become a drag.   You know its time for change.      
Leaving is sort of a double edged sword because there are people there that I really love and respect and  also a few who I am not crazy about.    So let's begin a new chapter in Julie's  book of life experiences.     This last day just crept up and as I drove to work this morning I thought how my route would be different.    A change of scenery is like putting in a fresh set of eyes.    I am up for that.     I wanted to get through this week and  just slip out the back door with little fanfare because well,  I am  sensitive and I have had my share of good-byes in the last 5 years and I don't like it at all.    Good bye deaths,  good bye marriage,  &  good bye friends who live far away and the visit never long enough.      Anyways,  I wonder something tonite.... Why do they call it a "GOOD"- BYE ?      Really?  What's so good about it?  In any of the situations I just mentioned - they were not good.  They are emotional.     For me,  good-bye is reserved for the "I probably won't see you for a while"   kind of situation.    Always it's someone I have enjoyed spending time with and I don't really want to say good bye.    But life calls the shots - and I don't think it ever gets easier.    Something in my head keeps saying "fork in the road".....

    So, anyways  I consult the Urban Dictionary for an answer to why the good in the good-bye. 

Firstly it says:  GOODBYE:  The second worst word in the human dictionary. ( I agree but wonder what the first worst is).  It says it means leaving someone or something, and sometimes never seeing them again.     Then it tells me that In Portuguese it means "adeus"... "Adeus meus amigos..." = "Goodbye my friends" (why just mention Portuguese?   Every language has its good byes right?) Urban Dictionary is not helping. So I find quotes about good-byes under the google search engine.  Some of what I find is good.  Every goodbye makes the next hello closer.   (Awe.  That's nice.  But does it?) How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to. (I am a softie so the word lucky here is over-rated.)    Lucky that I feel foolish when I cry in front of people because I can't swallow the lump in my throat?  -  If tears are a sign of devotion - then truly I am lucky to have met someone or many who have made such an impression.    In this I agree. This evening was a good last day.   The people I worked with made sure in thier own special way -  and as much as I tried to avoid the tears, I couldn't.   When I drove out of the underground parking and headed home on the highway I felt like a backpack of bricks had just been lifted off my shoulders.    The road home looked totally different. I had gotten out of there alive and a new chapter was to begin.   I have made some wonderful friends there.   This is not good-bye.   I felt  a little like the tree full of flowers that had lost a few petals in the battle when the winds came up  after working at the same place for so many years - and through so many changes in our department  but when I look behind me  I know I  still left  some color on the path.     While I am thinking out loud here.   Mind if I say -  (Excuse me)...  but girls at work can be real bitches sometimes. Where does it come from?   I think different work ethics,  jealousy, and a stressful work environment.     Men in the  workplace is good for the mix .  I think generally they don't get so carried away as the girls do.    They talk about hockey when we are talking about gossip.   Gossip is one thing - but gossip that is hurtful is another. It really is the difference between a great workplace and a not so great workplace.    I got a little bit of advice about my new site - and there are a lot of girls there too.  But I love the freshness of it all.    I can practice being a fly on the wall.   I am not very good at it but alas I have learned alot of lessons of late.     What do they say?   "When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us  Well,  I am stepping through.   Feel free to be inspired to follow.         Love J.